Century cracks down on clone-related cheating

Mid-Century Report: November 22, 2050

Century College today announced bold new measures to crack down on clone-related cheating at the college. “We will no longer allow cheap, genetically-identical copies of a student to do work in the student’s name,” a college spokesperson allowed.

The college became convinced that there was a problem when student Nick Anderson enrolled for every class the college offered in spring semester, thus completing three degrees and ninety-four certificates in just 16 weeks. It turns out there are 200 “Nick Andersons,” all genetically identical. The original “Nick” stayed home, played VR games, and then recycled his clones once they had earned him multiple academic awards.

Yet action has been hindered by the college’s “Clones and Clans” club, which protested any actions that would hurt the cause of clone rights. “Genetic identicality is just something people are hatched with,” a club spokesperson said. “No one should be punished just because they are the nineteenth or twentieth person to have the same DNA.”

To deal with the problem, the college is now requiring all students to daily submit DNA sequences along with all coursework and exams. This DNA will be submitted to unspliceme.com for analysis to determine whether the student is the student, or a clone of the student, or a clone of a clone of the student, or what.

Yet the college admits that this is just the “tip of the iceberg” when it comes to the threat of academic dishonesty.

“It’s a complicated world. For exams, we put people in anti-telepathy rooms with carefully filtered net access to prevent any cheating. But the other day, a student was caught actually physically looking at another student’s answers! No matter what we do, they’ll always think of something new.”